What are the duties of a brides maid in the US?
Feb 09, 2010
in
Groom Wedding Duties
I am originally from a country where bridesmaids literally seat and look pretty. They only have to spend on their own attire and reherse maybe once before the weeding. I assume it is different in the US. People seem to expect others to pay for their weeding. In Nicaragua if you get married the groom as a rule pays for everything traditionally and ideally. As a bridesmaid, I am expected to pay dues? Help pay for my friend’s wedding? Help put together a bridal shower?
Before I say “I Do” to being a bridesmaid I want to know more or less what is expected of me -financially and time wise. -I don’t even have time for my self with ft work and pt school
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12 comments
Annie on February 9, 2010 at 10:20 am
traditionaly the bridesmaids have the bridal shower, have a small party for them and bride and mother and grooms mother to make the sacks of bird seeds for the off to the honey moon get away, when bride and groom leave !!! they help the bride dress for the wedding… run errands IF the bride ask, they seldom do….. do a goodle search on this, it will help…there are several things they do, but it depends on the bride to be, ask her what she plans …. most things fall to the maid or matron of honor…and yes most times they pay for their own dress and shoes , etc…… God bless
cheshire on February 9, 2010 at 10:40 am
Sometimes a bridesmaid may be asked to pay or help pay for her dress. However, all you need to do is ask…What do I have to pay?
I believe the role of the bridesmaid is to be a witness or supporter of the couple getting married. More than likely, nowadays its just part of the frill of a big wedding. I dont know if there are any real duties except to precede the bride and wait for her to come up the aisle.
It'sMe23 on February 9, 2010 at 10:42 am
You pay for ur dress/shoe/hair to be done, buy a shower gift / contribute towards the shower, contribute towards the bachelorette party, buy wedding gift.
Have been in a few weddings.
nanny on February 9, 2010 at 11:00 am
The duties of a bridesmaid really aren’t much. The Maid of Honour does more. You just need to help out with things the bride might ask you to do – such as helping make favours to give away, to help decorate, for example. You will probably need to pay for your dress and shoes for the wedding, and to have your hair done. You may be asked to help out with putting on the bridal shower – that all depends on the bride’s family and how they are doing it. You need to buy a modest gift for the couple, and that’s about it. There will be a rehearsal before the wedding, and maybe a rehearsal dinner. Clarify with the person who asked you what is expected of you – so you have no surprizes. There are still lots of variables in how people plan things. Don’t feel bad if you say no.
stuffy on February 9, 2010 at 11:39 am
okay, I have been a bridesmaid several times and I can tell you this from experience: the bridesmaids are responsible to pay for there own dress, shoes, flowers and hair. most likely the bride will (usually) get the jewlery for her girls, some will even pay for the flowers. it all depends on the bride and groom. the shower is most of the time given by the bridesmaids and yes you do have to pay your part. but other than a gift you may buy for the happy couples special day you are not responsible for anything else, unless the bride specifies. befor agreeing to be in this wedding maybe you need to ask some questions. Good luck:)
★ Lansing ★ on February 9, 2010 at 11:42 am
in US the bridesmaid has to give the groom one last chance to have sex with other woman……
mustard100 on February 9, 2010 at 12:01 pm
This is important to remember….no matter what the best man trys to tell you, please keep in mind that it is the bride and the groom who must consummate the marriage, not the bridesmaids and the groomsmen.
masterdvrsgirl on February 9, 2010 at 12:52 pm
The bridesmaid is an integral part of any wedding, on hand to comfort, console, multitask, and party hearty at all bridal event(s). Whether it’s your first bridesmaid gig or your 50th, here’s a cheat sheet of your to-dos.
Offer to help with prewedding tasks. Try to be specific when you volunteer. For example, say, “Would you like me to help you shop for bridesmaid dresses/stuff invitations/pack for the honeymoon?” instead of just, “What can I do?”
Scout out bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry, and other accessories. Pay for the entire ensemble. (Break in your shoes before the wedding day — that will minimize slipping, blisters, and aching tootsies.)
Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the shower and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids.
If the maid/matron of honor isn’t already handling this task, keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (so that the bride/couple can write thank-you notes); maintain RSVP lists.
Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (Keep abreast of all prewedding parties, and go to as many as possible.)
Run last-minute errands. On the day of the wedding, be on hand to confirm flower delivery times, meet and greet the ceremony officiant, or satisfy junk food cravings.
Stand in the receiving line at the bride’s request.
Serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure they know where the bar is located, and inviting them to sign the guest book.
Hit the dance floor when the music kicks in. Dance with groomsmen during the formal first-dance sequence. Also, be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner.
Give the maid/matron of honor a break by helping to carry the bride’s train whenever necessary. Bustle the train before dancing begins, and be ready to help fix it if it comes unhooked. Accompany the bride on visits to the restroom, if asked.
Purchase a wedding present perhaps with one or several of the other bridesmaids. This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridesmaid troupe pitches in for one knock-her-socks-off wedding gift.
Be a trooper, no matter how stressful the ordeal becomes. Try not to complain about the bridesmaid dress — even if the color is horrendous. Be gracious and tactful.
Provide plenty of emotional support during the planning and on the wedding day.
pinkdenial on February 9, 2010 at 1:18 pm
In the U.S., you are responsible for paying for your own dress, shoes, and accessories (unless the bride gives you jewelry as part of your thank-you gift).
Not many bridesmaids help with the shower, but it isn’t unusual for you to be asked to help organize and pay for it. This is a case by case basis, though. If you are unable to help pay for the shower, just let the host know ahead of time, and it usually isn’t a problem.
Most bridesmaids do help organize and pay for the bachelorette party, though. Again, let the host (usually the maid of honor) know your financial restrictions.
Really, financial constraints are rarely a problem if the planner knows about them ahead of time.
Also, the bride might ask you to help her make some favors or stuff invitations, but this depends on the bride.
Other than that, you sit and look pretty, and attend the wedding rehearsal.
sq on February 9, 2010 at 1:18 pm
1. Bridesmaids are expected to pay for their wedding outfit, but the bride pays for the flowers.
2. The bridesmaids are expected to host a shower for the bride. This does not have to be crazy and involve 500 people.
3. The bridesmaids chip in and buy a good gift for the bride.
4. The bridesmaids throw a bachelorette party for the bride. Again, does not have to be crazy or expensive–just fun.
5. The bridesmaids are expected to help their friend on her wedding day. Make sure she has everything she needs, be nice and tell her she is gorgeous.
On the flip side, brides cannot be horrible bitches and should respect the pocketbook of their bridesmaids.
Trixie on February 9, 2010 at 2:14 pm
masterdvrsgirl is the most correct if you are a Maid/Matron of Honor. However if you are just a bridesmaid, not the Maid/Matron of Honor, then It’sMe23 is correct. The Maid/Matron of Honor or Bride might ask you to perform other duties to help lighten the load, but generally it is the Bride and Maid/Matron of Honor that have all the duties.
Ask the Bride-to-Be what she would expect of you (both time and expectations of your purchases) for you to participate, tell her that you are very honored to have been asked but that you want to be sure you have the time and money to do honor to the position. Good Luck.
SBean_29 on February 9, 2010 at 2:40 pm
I am from the US and I have 4 Bridesmaids and 1 Maid of Honor in my wedding party. It’s customary, as far as I know, for them to pay for their dress and shoes. I’m paying for their flowers and as gifts to each of them, their jewelry. Bridesmaids are responsible for organizing the Bridal Shower with the mother of the Bride. Besides this – they need not worry about anything else but showing up. I don’t expect them to pay for my dress, their participation at the reception, or their ride in the limo. I personally think it’s an honor to be asked to be in someone’s wedding and not to be put-out like you seem to be. If you’re this concerned about your own time and finances, respectfully decline. But know this, you could miss out on a really fun, memorable time…